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just one of those little plans for 2017 thing/ new years resoloution kind of thing

1. practise, practise, practise. all the practise from everything to BG, anatomy & even poses.

2. get my website up and going to help with my comission intake

3. make it to some cons this year, it has been my dream for so long to actually make it to a con and my goal for this year is to save like a maniac and make it to supernova at the end of the year with my best friend. it would be great if i could make it to furDU as well but lets not count our chickens before they hatch. (litterally my new years resoloution fo this year)

4. really knuckle down on work for my graphic novel, ideally i want to be able to start publishing it this year, but it's still in early stages. 

5 secure a decent paying job, but living in a state with one of the worst unemployment rates is going to be difficult.

6. keep doing little gits and maybe a contest or two, try to start giving back to my watchers 

7, practise & learn new techniques, genually improve my art

8, oc work (obviously)

9, build and refine my worlds and stories that take place in them

10, make my youtube more interesting and try to start uploading more
so my laptop is doing this thing where the charger has to be in a certain posisition or else it wont charge :/ 
you know like that thing headphones do?
i'm not sure tho if its just the charger or my whole laptop, i mean is it getting kind of old now and i should probally think about replacing it but i honestly cant afford it. 
anyway, might go out later and buy a new charger to see if thats the promblom
so you may have noticted that i am becoming more active, we are currently staying with family and i feel so loved and welcomed, the complete opposite to what i felt at home. i have been getting my motivation back and i will try to become active again shortly, i'm not ready to come back here completely but with time i will.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

To Do List
Refrences:

= done

*= temporary/ done but probally going to redo

# = redoing

 

Altair [feral/ human]

Arkos [feral /anthro/ human]

Athex [human]

Calico [anthro]

Charity [anthro]

Charsi [anthro#]

Cicerio [feral/ human]

 

Elson [feral/ human]

Hiro [feral]

Loki [feral#/ human]

 

North [humanoid / demonic]

Nanabe [feral]

 

Phobos [feral/ human]

 

Sai   [feral/ human]

Septermber [humanoid*]

Sentoki [feral#/ human/ demonic/ full demon/ antho]

 

Tenebris [feral]

Void   [demon#]

 

Other:

- gifts for some special people

-BG practise

-Redo some old arts

-Oc art / oc’s interacting / group oc photos

- personal art/ personal projects

- ship arts

So my living conditions have gone up the shit lately, not only do i have to live with my dipshited good-for-nothing uncle now i am forced to live with my dropkick cousin as well. My god, the two of my so called ‘family’ that i absouletly cannot stand, and i am forced to live with them. And my dad wonders why i never come out of my room anymore :/ not to mention i am forced to be civil with them becuase if i so much as say one bad word about them i get told to “grow up” or to “get over it” , either that or i am being “petty”. I am just angry all the time now and i hate it. I have been losing my temper so much it’s scary, and i keep snapping at people i care about and i hate it. It’s gotten to the point now where i feel as tho it is physically affecting my health. My temper’s gotten worse, i have almost constant headaches, and i cant remember the last time i got a decent sleep. It’s left me with little to no motiation to draw and becuase of that i am going to be takin a hitasus intill further notice.

 

On the plus side i have been going on 1-2 hour walks per day to stay out of the house (if pokemon go would work it would be great :/) so hopefully i might start loosing some weight before our trip. My dad, brother and i plan on touring australia for the forseeable future, and we plan on leaving shortly. I only have to last a little longer with these dipshit so lets pray i dont loose it at them. Also becuase of our trip i have no idea when and where i’ll have acess to internet so again, i’ll still be alive, just not active. My god, i have been looking forward to this trip for ages and we have been planning for months now. However i will be more active on my instagam flashingredfangs and i may post photos of our trip if anyone is interested.

 

I love you all, so adios for now.

(send me words of encouragemnt so i dont murder people :/) 

edit: decided to give it another week since i'm going to be heading out of town and i wont have the net for a while ;U; 
THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!
as a little thank you to my watcher for recently hitting 30 watcher imma be doing a little raffle.
all you need to do is post a comment with a link to the character you would like me to draw if you win.
i'll be choosing 2-3 winners and they'll each get a little headshot or fullbody depending on how i feel at the time. 
i've been kinda iffy with motivation lately so i hope this'll help me get my butt in gear. 
now this is for existing watchers only. 
you have intill july 4th when i'll be picking winners :3
thank you again guys!
kinda tempted to make myself an instagram where i'll post wip and stuffs.
seen a lot of other artists doing it and i'm kind of thinking of jumping on the bandwagon.
why the fuck can i not acess my stash? 
anyone else having this promblom?
also i cannot believe it's febuary already.  
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Happy 2016 everyone! I hope everyone had an amazing 2015 and i hope for an even better 2016! My 2015 was not the most.. Positive. I had few moments through the year where i had a couple of rough patches, nothing major just feeling really down and unmotivated. Flat i guess. But now’s not the time to talk about it, i’ll save that for a later journal ;)

 

Anyway this year i plan on trying to stay more positive an making it an amazing year. I really want to try and “find my place” in the world this year since last year mostly involved me struggling to figure that out. I still am in a way. Art wise i really want to improve, mostly on my anatomy and backgrounds and really try to flesh out my style and characters. (im struggling with a lot of them at the moment tbh aha D; ) i also want to try some new things and do a lot of expremental stuff, maybe try making a plush or two.

 

Personal goals include trying to find my place, as mentioned above. I am also going to try to make it to supernova this year. I doubt it’s going to happen, but still, a girl can dream right? Furry down under, anthrocon and mff are also really big goals for me, again, unlikly to happen, but still dreams. Expecially since as of tomorrow i have officially started saing for my fursuit :D when i finaly sort out a paypal i’ll also be putting money from comissions into my fursuit / anthrocon fund so you can look out for that ;D. However i think i’ll be saving for quite a while before anthrocon, since flights from home are at least a grand, the disadvantages of living halfway across the world aha D;

Other goals invole comissioning my senpai’s and adopting some closed species characers i have been eyeing off for a while. And all this talk of cons i won’t be able to make it to , i will definately be going to tropiccon. I went last year and loved it. Still not sure on who i will be going as, but at this point i will most likely be going as levi. 

 

Anywho, onwands to the past!    

 

firstly i want to say sorry for the lack of activity. however everyone seems to be doing it so i'll do one too ^.^
wishlist.
really i would love any art at all, especially of my four main babs charsi, athex, north and sentoki but i would never directly ask it ha. ;D
especially if it was from my idols
however mosly i wish i could just spend more time with my babs.
:iconalexandrajett2008: :iconfunkydiddykong & :iconkadlawubswuvs: 
i'm going away over christmas break to visit relatives so i wont get to see them
i'm baaaaaaaaaack.
well i never fully "left" since i have to get on an clean out my inbox every few days or else it gets to crowded. ;D
deatail's who needs them
going to be uploading some refs so i apologise for spam
QuillDog: Selenic Hex (RAFFLE CLOSED) by MischievousRaven
HOLY SHIT THIS BABY IS BEAUTIFUL. ahhhh! well, all quilldog are but this one is especially. i love purple's and blue's on quills.  
go check these guys out if you get the chance!
falvie 
xBloodShadow 
xKoday 
Ruthion30 
LordMarlon 
Velkss 
Grypwolf 
dis-a
NinjaKato 
BlasticHeart
ZheyZhey 
DemonSoulk
StressedJenny
VivzMind


and more to come!!
(keeping a list here so i have imidate links to you're profiles ^.^) 
p.s sorry to the people i already had listed here for making you go through this again

My fucking mindset I swear to god. I cannot seem to be able to handle myself well at all at the moment and my emotions seem to be all over the place. I think I’m stuck in a rutt or something at the moment and I do not feel well at all about it. I seem to keep getting these random moments when I will feel really down and I don’t know why.  I’ll get upset over the smallest randomist things which is really weird since I don’t usually do the whole emotion thing, and then I will feel guilty about feeling down when everything is okay with me. I mean, I’m 18 now, I should be happy but no, I mean what the hell is up with me at the moment? Not to mention by motivation keeps coming a going. Like omfg, I get these random surges of inspiration and when I go to sit down and draw about five minutes later my brain will like ‘oh you wanted to draw? LOL NOPE”

My brain is a prick.

I also seem to be on a character binge at the moment. I keep coming up with random ideas for character’s and designs that I really like but I feel pressured into drawing them and getting them down onto paper so I don’t forget them when I’m currently redesigning about six of my old characters which I’m trying to focus on but again, I feel as if I NEED to get these character’s down or else I will forgot them. I write down all my ideas’ in the first place because I feel as if I need to so I can make room for new ideas and as if these old ideas will ‘overload’ my brain.

My brain is weird.

Even with all the ideas I write down I feel pressured into drawing them and getting them finished witch just stresses me out more. Not to mention I keep getting mad at myself for feeling like this and it just annoys me witch, again stresses me out.  I mean seriously, all I want to do is draw and work on my class, but I can’t even do that. Because when I sit in class, I still have all these idea sitting in the back of mind like ‘draw me, draw me senpai” and it’s all I seem to concentrate on. And yet, when I go to finish these ideas, and eventually draw them I make the slightest mistake and it infuriates me to the core, which stresses me out because I want to get them done, and tick them off my list of things to do to make room for new ideas, but I just can’t seem to do it.

You see why I’m pissing myself off?

 Honestly, why can’t my brain be normal and back off and just let me draw without worrying about all of these. 

It’s also the reason why I took a break from DA to try and help but it dosen’t seem to be doing shit.

I just

Arrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh! *tears hair out* help

 


i made a video.
some art you're probally seen and some you probally havent.
enjoy ^.^